


spook month

by depressedtrashcant



Series: i love pidge and will use this to show it [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Suicidal Thoughts, and close to a suicide attempt, i got those good 'ol suicidal thoughts again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-22 01:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21066980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/depressedtrashcant/pseuds/depressedtrashcant
Summary: the title has nothing to do with the fanfic





	spook month

**Author's Note:**

> play untitled goose game

Pidge walked to one of the castle's airlocks, one hand in their pocket and the other running through their hair.

_This is probably a bad idea,_ they thought idly. 

"Whatever," they muttered, kicking at the ground like people in movies do, except the ground was hard metal, not dirt and they almost fell on their face.

_That was dumb,_ they thought again, their face burning. 

Soon enough, they arrived at the airlock and they could feel their hands shaking a bit- _Even though that was stupid and they've tried killing themself before and this wasn't different-_ quickly before they could continue second-guessing themselves they slammed their hand on the unlock thing and climbed in, closing the inner door.

Pidge sat down on the metal _-which was actually pleasantly cool, huh-_ and stretched out their legs as far as they could go before leaning their head against the wall, closing their eyes.

After a moment, they decided to not put it off any longer and slowly got up, before walking to where the 'open to space button' was. It wasn't really named that, that's just what they like to call it.

Honestly, it was kinda weird that they have that in here, there weren't even any safety measures. It's almost like they wanted someone to die here or something.

They lifted their hand to press the button, but for some reason, they were scared. They even felt tears in their eyes, threatening to fall.

They scrubbed at their face, simultaneously trying to wake themselves up and stop crying.

"This is so stupid!" Pidge yelled in frustration, kicking at the wall.

"I just need to press the fucking button, and then it'll be over. No fighting the galra, no worrying about my family."

They sank down the wall and covered their face and trying to control their breathing.

"It's fine, everything's fine. Why am I even crying? It'll be fine."

Pidge felt a sob trying to escape their throat and they quickly swallowed it down.

They stood, and tried focusing on their breathing for a few moments to calm down. It didn't do anything.

"Okay," they said, their hand hovering over the button. "One, two, three." They were supposed to do it on three, but instead, they found they couldn't move their hand, and also found more tears streaming down their face.

They sat down on the floor again _-which seemed to be a theme tonight-_ before deciding to just lay down.

"Seems I'm not going to die tonight," they whispered bitterly.

They glanced at the door that would let them back into the castle, before deciding to sleep here. They didn't feel up to walking to the entrance into the castle, so they could only imagine how much it would suck to walk all the way to their room.

They chose a rather out of the way airlock, wouldn't want anyone to find them after all. Unfortunately, it just added to the distance they would have to walk to get back to their room.

Why were they even thinking about this? They already decided to sleep here tonight.

They closed their eyes and slowly drifted off.

**Author's Note:**

> idk if u could tell, but this is basically what i was thinking wheni was trying to convince myself to slit my wrists.
> 
> also im so sorry that its written this badly but i haven't slept in a while so,, :/


End file.
